Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
