Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You made out with two different species that night
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
