I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
