is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
