If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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