No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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