that's an acceptable place to lick
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
