Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i came on her dog
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
