If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize