so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
