Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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