dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
