He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
