Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
