I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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