You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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