you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
