My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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