we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
