she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
