Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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