well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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