she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
