yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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