Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We need a shit load of segways right now
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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