you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
