I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
