Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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