SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
