I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
