hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
