some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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