i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
