a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
