I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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