Tell her she can't have a vagina
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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