I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
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He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
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I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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