It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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