Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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