im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
