Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
