did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
