I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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