Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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