If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Less talking, more tequila
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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