Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
