so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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