Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Quick, to the slutcave!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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