Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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