FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
