So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
