I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
