Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize