The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
