If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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