I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
