I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
