just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
