dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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