My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
