ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Boobs speak an international language.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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