Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
