if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
