so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
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