16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
